I do not believe in the "Jump-Off Theory".
I know. You're saying "What the heezy is The Jump-Off Theory??" Let me explain:
The Jump-Off Theory is the assertion that two people who aren't in a relationship can have a successful "No Strings Attached" sexual relationship as long as neither one of them becomes emotionally involved, that is..."catches feelings".
That, My Lovelies, is a load of crap. These types of relationships are at best, wastes of time and at worst, very damaging to one's psyche and soul.
It's unnatural for us as human beings to separate from our emotional selves. Our emotions are necessary to help us gauge who we are and where we stand in the world and how we relate to it all. They work in conjunction with (NOT instead of) our judgment to help us move through life. One does HORRIBLY without the other.
Human nature and the divine always win. No matter what you do to your face, your body, you hair...what is real cannot be denied. You can either come out on top in the situation or lose.
Just ask Michael Jackson's face.
That ish is becoming undone.
Would this have been SOOOOO bad???
I'm just sayin'...that ain't bad for a 50 year-old Black man.
But, I digress.
When you set aside emotion so you can freely bone someone that isn't that into you or vice versa, no matter what "arrangements" you think you've made or "understandings" you have, somebody is going to catch feelings. I'd say 85% of the time. Why? Because emotion is a necessary, vital and UNDENIABLE part of how we relate to one another, especially sexually. Men tend to express intimate feelings and emotions through sex because they are such physical beings. Women, we are chemically wired to have emotion spill forth from sex. Ever heard of oxytocin? It's the same hormone released during childbirth and breastfeeding to insure that we bond with our babies...AND IT'S RELEASED DURING ORGASM. Duh!
Oh yeah, some feelings will be caught, regardless.
Do you understand the amount of WAR that needs to be waged internally to attempt to circumvent all that? Jump-Offs are pouring all that energy into NOT embracing their emotional selves and NOT respecting the natural order of things, when if they just held a higher standard for themselves, practiced patience and remain FAITHFUL, they could be expending that energy in a real relationship of LOVE. They could be ACTING IN LOVE with someone, instead of trying to stand steady on a big ol' LIE. Is it worth it??
And for that 15% that just may be "successful" in the Jump-Off situations..."Do you really want to win or just look good losing?" (c)Phonte. Yeah, because that's what you're doing. Let me quote myself from the very first entry of "Hey, You Asked":
"The things you have to do to sustain functional “Jump Off” and “FB/FWB” relationships will eventually turn you into someone you do not like. They rob you of your ability to connect w/people in a healthy manner. The thought processes and necessary emotions crucial for the relationship you eventually want to be in “forever” are slowly eroded and you are left unable to be more than simply physical. Cynicism, paranoia and skepticism set in and before you know it, you are alone. Not because you want to be, but because you’ve forgotten how to truly “be” with someone else. You have left so many little pieces of your soul behind w/the J.O.’s that you have nothing left for your Mr./Ms. Right."
You come out damaged at the end of your "successful" Jump-Off relationship. You lose a little bit of "you" each time. Again I ask, is it worth it?
So yeah, go on and "Jump Off"....
See where it gets you.
