Hi!
I finally have an issue for you to solve!
You already know I'm 10 weeks pregnant. When I first found out, my boyfriend said don't worry about it. I was shaking, crying and basically scared sh*tless! See, he's already got 4 kids (2 from before he got married and 2 during his marriage). His ex-wife is killing him with child support.
You already know I'm 10 weeks pregnant. When I first found out, my boyfriend said don't worry about it. I was shaking, crying and basically scared sh*tless! See, he's already got 4 kids (2 from before he got married and 2 during his marriage). His ex-wife is killing him with child support.
The problem now is: He called me today all serious and said that he "doesn't think I should go through with this"! He says that neither one of us can afford it at all. I know this. I know how hard it is to raise a child. I also know how expensive it'll be. I'm not stupid. But I'll be damned if I use abortion as birth control at this age! Not to mention at this stage of my pregnancy.
I told him a long time ago that if I ever got pregnant that there would be no abortion. He understood that, because I was very clear about it. This shouldn't be a surprise to him at all.
Soooo, my mother called me the other day and told me that she and my dad wanted me to move back home so they could help. You see, they know the financial situation here. They just want the financial burden of having to pay rent lifted off of me. Besides that, I'll have someone to watch the baby when I go back to work (this is coming directly from my mother). Oh, and I didn't mention that I don't know enough people here to even begin to find someone to watch a baby.
So what do you think? Should I swallow my pride and go back there until I can have enough money to leave again?
Having a baby is a joyous time in a woman's life and shouldn't be marred by strife and extra stress (because pregnancy alone is stressful enough). Your child's father has very strong opinions on whether or not you should have the baby. And as serious as his concerns are, they no longer hold much weight. The "luxury" of choice in the matter for him ended at the point of ejaculation. If he didn't want to have another baby, he should've exercised choice BEFORE then. But since he didn't, this is what it is.
So, I extend my congratulations to you as well, Daddy. Do all your children a favor and make sure they grow up knowing each other. They deserve that much. AT LEAST that much.
Now, as for your situation, Mommie...you should be operating as if you will bear the greatest responsibility for this child. Because it seems as if you will. You must make choices that are the best for you and your child. Unnecessary struggle is NOT one of them.
If your parents are willing to let you come home to help relieve the financial strain of having and supporting a baby alone off of you, I say go. Go, and go NOW! Go back, find a job while you still aren't showing and settle in with your family. You are obviously a loved child and your baby will be too. This is of the utmost importance. Surround yourself with peace and positivity during your pregnancy and bring the little one home to the same.
Adequate childcare is expensive and QUALITY childcare is even MORE expensive. If your parents are in a situation that your mom can stay home with your baby while you work, FOR FREE, you need to make that happen. Seriously. I would've given anything for my Mother or Grandmother to have been my children's daytime care providers. That is ideal and most moms today don't get that option like days gone by. I was lucky to have had my kids' with me on my job for the most part when they were very young, and even that is rare.
It looks to me that you have a great opportunity to have a peaceful pregnancy, work and save some money and have the best childcare provider you know to help care for your baby. I say go for it. If it is to be temporary, make the best of it and be grateful. You and your child will have a wonderful start in your lives together.
In this and all things, I wish you love, light and clarity.
Hey, You Asked,
PBG
Having a baby is a joyous time in a woman's life and shouldn't be marred by strife and extra stress (because pregnancy alone is stressful enough). Your child's father has very strong opinions on whether or not you should have the baby. And as serious as his concerns are, they no longer hold much weight. The "luxury" of choice in the matter for him ended at the point of ejaculation. If he didn't want to have another baby, he should've exercised choice BEFORE then. But since he didn't, this is what it is.
So, I extend my congratulations to you as well, Daddy. Do all your children a favor and make sure they grow up knowing each other. They deserve that much. AT LEAST that much.
Now, as for your situation, Mommie...you should be operating as if you will bear the greatest responsibility for this child. Because it seems as if you will. You must make choices that are the best for you and your child. Unnecessary struggle is NOT one of them.
If your parents are willing to let you come home to help relieve the financial strain of having and supporting a baby alone off of you, I say go. Go, and go NOW! Go back, find a job while you still aren't showing and settle in with your family. You are obviously a loved child and your baby will be too. This is of the utmost importance. Surround yourself with peace and positivity during your pregnancy and bring the little one home to the same.
Adequate childcare is expensive and QUALITY childcare is even MORE expensive. If your parents are in a situation that your mom can stay home with your baby while you work, FOR FREE, you need to make that happen. Seriously. I would've given anything for my Mother or Grandmother to have been my children's daytime care providers. That is ideal and most moms today don't get that option like days gone by. I was lucky to have had my kids' with me on my job for the most part when they were very young, and even that is rare.
It looks to me that you have a great opportunity to have a peaceful pregnancy, work and save some money and have the best childcare provider you know to help care for your baby. I say go for it. If it is to be temporary, make the best of it and be grateful. You and your child will have a wonderful start in your lives together.
In this and all things, I wish you love, light and clarity.
Hey, You Asked,
PBG
