Hey PBG,
So here’s the situation:
I’ve had this off/an again relationship for 9 years with this guy. We met when we were teenagers, and it’s been a rollercoaster ride. Before I left for college, we were talking marriage. However, we didn’t weather that storm called college. He decided to see someone else because of the distance. I transferred to a school back home after the first year away, and we hooked back up. Fast forward five years, we’re still doing the yo-yo thing. For a while, I felt like I was being held hostage because whenever I would meet someone new, he would come my way talking his talk, and we’d be on again.
About two months ago, I called him after ending a situation. We talked for like five hours, and he said he wanted to give us another try. His exact words were, “I know I’m not good enough for you, but I want to try to ‘us’ again.” I told him I’d think about it. Six weeks went by without any communication at all. I tried calling but was unsuccessful. I decided to try him last night, and he answered.
He was extra happy to hear from me. He said his phone had been stolen, he didn’t have my number, etc. He was VERY enthusiastic. He asked how I was doing and if I was dating anyone. I told him fine and no. He babbles a few lines and then mentions a girlfriend. I almost didn’t catch it. It was like, “blah, blah, blah, I’m sitting here with my girlfriend, but blah, blah, blah.” Then I hear the chick ask who he’s talking to. His reply was “My friend, I don’t have anything to hide.” I told him I’d holla back since he was entertaining company.
Just six weeks ago he was trying to give us another shot, but now he has a girlfriend. Am I wrong for feeling some type of way? I guess my question is, is it time to let this thing go? And what should I do when he calls me?
Signed,
It’s Hard to Walk Away from Nine Years
Rollercoaster, huh?
Guess which one is you...
As my IGtastic eSis, Luvvie would say, "Man! Dude needs to stop playin' these baldhead games out here!"
The thing about rollercoasters is they only last 5 minutes, but you will standing in line for that crazy thrill for an hour, and that's on a off peak day. A fun day at the amusement park. In your love life...not so much.
Sistagirl! Stop getting in line for this ridiculous ride! This madness is no good for you! Don't you think you deserve more? Just think about the words you've used here to describe the life of the relationship you've had with this man: "yo-yo" and "rollercoaster". Child's play! For real, stop it. Now.
After professing his love and expressing a burning desire to rekindle your flame, he doesn't call for 6 weeks?? And when you do finally talk to him (after YOU called HIM), he's sooo happy to hear from you, with mouthful of half-assed excuses AND a girlfriend?? This entire situation makes me want to slam this laptop close and go sit on the teeny-tiny chair in my Prayer Closet. This dude ain't thinkin' about love & marriage, you OR your 9 years of yo-yo tricks. Whew LAWD, Keep me near The Cross!
In all honesty, I think you know you need to leave this mess alone. You just needed the PBG Stamp of Approval, right? OK, here you go:
Very official looking, but nothing in comparison to your own common sense.
Now, go do something that will edify your spirit so you can have a fortifying, adult relationship. This self-serving, egotistical game player does not have your best interest at heart. He's out to have fun...that's it and that's all. Let him be that other chick's problem.
In this and in all things, I wish you love, light and clarity.
Hey, You Asked!
PBG
