30: Not Only An Age, But A Blessing

Last year, I made a video in response to a few lamentations I'd see around the web from people on the cusp of the Big 3-0. Check it out:

Here's a letter I received from one of my favorite people online, Ms. SavvyFatty. She was feeling mighty low as she approached her 30th birthday, but she says my take on leaving your 20's behind helped her out a lot:


Dear Peebz-
A wise woman once Vlog'd about the joys of being 30+ and leaving that wasteland of Adult Ig'nance we call our 20s in the dust.

Initially, I thought this woman was TRIPPIN', especially since I couldn't imagine leaving the reckless irresponsibility of my 20s for what I'd foreseen as 10 years wrought with ZERO-fun and ALL real-life decision-making. I felt scared; Unprepared; Google'd Time Machines and Life Rewind Buttons in hopes of never having to face my entrance into this new decade.

Until..I rang in my 3rd decade, mere weeks ago, making a conscious decision to be grateful for, rather than LOATHE, its inevitable existence.

And that wise woman, who I thought was selling me Silky Straight in hopes of passing it off as Indian Remy, was YOU, Peebz.

Thanks so much for your vlog's truthful wisdom! You're right; I AM still young enough to live life. And the trials and treacherous-ass tribulations I've experienced in my 20s HAVE ushered in a clarity and wisdom indescribable.
I've noticed that new perspective and I AM more appreciative of the days and nights that God has gifted me with. I feel blessed as there's several of my peers who will never reach this milestone. I feel a responsibility to those that are no longer here as well as myself to Live.It.UP! Contrary to prior belief, I didn't turn grey or wrinkly overnight; MIRACULOUS! I woke up STILL sexy and spry! Imagine that!

Truthfully, I'd REALLY thought the screws in your brain's caboose were loose when you mentioned not wearing a hat because 1) I LIVE for hats and 2) As an avid crafter, I'd planned the absolute FLYEST homemade born day hat to help me celebrate my special day. Your words stopped the creation of my dome adornment's 24-hour reign. But, just as your vlog promised, my wisdom was delivered like clockwork. Like Magic. Like A Blessing.

In all my 30 years (said with a smile and NO shame) I've never felt more self-assured, confident, and prepared for a new decade. Thank you times a BILLION for helping me to see that these can and WILL be some of the best days of my life.

30: Not Only An Age, But A Blessing.

MUCH Love,
SavvyFatty



I'm so glad my video was able to help! 30 is awesome! Enjoy it!


In this and all things, I wish you love, light & clarity.
~pbg

How You Doing??: Ringless

Hello My Lovelies!

I was so delighted to open my email box over the weekend and get this fantastic follow up to the letter entitled "Ringless". If you recall, this was a situation with a young woman who was playing the role of "wife" to an apparently selfish man and not getting any of the benefits. Click the link to read the original post, then check out her update:


HI PBG!

i just wanted to update you on what happened after i sent you the letter about my boyfriend/fiance...

i must admit, my feelings were a bit hurt after i read the responses...but not for long. i realized that YES, he was still living that young, still-single lifestyle, while i was playing the role of the good wifey. not long after i emailed you, he joined a bike club and that sealed the deal for me. it really confirmed that he was looking to "escape" his home life, and why ruin a good thing? if you can have the kids and know they are being taken care of, and home is being taken care of, then u have a pretty good deal right? the comments that you got were a real eye opener. so much of an eye opener, that i left him.

It was hard to do, starting out on my own again after so long, but i got a job, moved home with my mom til I could figure things out, and removed my name from EVERYTHING lol! even down to the joint bank account! I do miss him, but since I left, he has really been showing his true colors. The kids get half-assed visits because "the bike club is doing something" or "work is taking up all his time" and i now realize how much he really wasnt home to begin with. I didnt even try being nice with the child support and took him immediately and even a month later he is bullshitting me, but its okay. im happier now and thats all that matters. the kids dont even seem phased right now, which is the saddest part.

Thanks for posting my question, I appreciate the help everyone offered in the form of cold hard truths lol, but im on the right track with no intentions to turn back!



Well, Miss Thing! Good for you!
While I am saddened by the demise of anyone's love relationship as it is usually a difficult processs, I am so happy to hear that you've made the best decision for yourself. You loved yourself enough to let go of a relationship that was going nowhere. That is awesome. I wish you continued strength and support in all of your endeavors in this new chapter of your life!


If you have a follow-up letter or would like an impartial opinion on your situation, please send it to "Hey, You Asked!" askthepbg@gmail.com!

In this and all things, I wish you love, light & clarity.



~pbg

How You Doing??: A 2 for 1 Special Post

Hello My Lovelies!

I have here yet another follow-up report from one of my previous posts. Well actually, this is follow-up from two letters.

This young lady actually wrote in with concerns about her young son, twice.


A Little One Loses A Friend
Trouble Between Cousins


Here's how she says things are making out with her son:

You gave me some excellent advice on a couple of occasions... as you know! Just wanna let you n the readers know that my son is doing well. I made use of the school counselor for both the grief issues he had when his classmate died and the issues with his cousin. He seems to be doing well with both issues. My brother has moved. His son is also in counseling now... after I spoke my concerns to his mother. She took it better than I thought. Turns out there was an incident with a neighbor boy where they live, and she hadn't pursued counseling for him when it first happened. I'm sorry that it took his acting out to get him the help he needed. I'm trying not to be too judgmental about her not taking care of her biz when it first went down, but hey.... I'm still salty it impacted my son before the kid got help. I'm still not ready to have him around my son. Maybe someday.... I'm not as angry with my dad as I was at first. And really, that anger probably came from issues I have leftover from childhood than anything to do with this situation. My son still talks about his classmate and asks questions about death and dying, but the counselor assures me it's all age appropriate and constructive. I really appreciate the input you gave and the validation of my own instincts! You rock out loud!



I'm so glad that things have gotten better for you and your family. I was especially concerned in your case because of the nature of the things going on with your little boy. I'm delighted to know he's doing well! Thank you for entrusting your very sensitive family issues to me.

Thanks for reading guys, and if you have a follow-up story for me, be it good or bad, please send it to askthepbg@gmail.com and I'll post it.


In all things, I wish you love, light and clarity.


~pbg

How You Doin'?? : Follow-Up to "Re-Adjusting Your Thug"

Hello My Lovelies!

Today's Follow-Up comes from the post entitled "Re-Adjusting Your Thug". In that letter, a young letter asked advice on how to handle some messy chicas that were trying to be all up n' through her long distance relationship by making snide, sideways comments to her and a friend at a party. She wanted to whup their azzes!

Click here to read her original letter.

Well, she has since had a few revelations:

The Follow-Up: Come to find out the couple who tried to play my face at the party have done similiar crazy things to people in my circle. They've accused others of doing scandalous things. Basically they are crazy and paranoid. I've encountered them once since the incident, I was cordial, but then I removed myself and my posse from their vicinity. Confirmation of their crazy behavior has strengthend my resolve to make them "dead" to me. Now they are just some vaguely familiar faces in a crowd of others. I am cautious though of folks who seem overely interested in other people's relationships. Nosey bastards...


I like the way you handled that one! What could've easily become a brawl was resolved with all the grace n' style befitting a proper woman! Awesome!!

In this and all things, I wish you love, light & clarity.

~pbg

How You Doin'??: Follow Up to "Rollercoaster"

Hello My Lovelies!

I have a follow-up to share with you all:

How could we forget the young lady in the 9 year, roller coaster of a relationship with a guy she'd dated since high school. He had a propensity for playing the "games of Amber Rose (bald-headed)" (c)Luvvie, and it was a twisty-turny of a mess for my letter writer.

Click here to see the original entry, "Roller Coaster".

Well, here's how she says she is making out since I answered her letter:


Before I wrote you, I knew that I needed to let that situation go. Sometimes hearing it from someone else is just the push you need.

One of your readers said something that really made me say “damn.” Monk said, “At some point, you stop being a victim and you're more so a participant.” That made me see things differently. I wanted no more parts of that game, so I quit. Thanks Monk!

I don’t speak to the ex often (maybe once a month, if that), and the conversations are always quick (oh, you’re alive? that’s what’s up). I’ve removed myself from the situation physically, but of course feelings are still there. But I’m working on putting me first. It’s a progress, but I can do it! Thanks for the advice PBG!

P.S. Where’s a good place to meet people?


We here at Hey, You Asked are so glad you are on the road to recovery from that toxic relationship! You go girl! Special thanks to Monk for typing the words that spoke to this young lady's heart!

As for a good place to meet people...when I find out, I'll be sure to let YOU know! lol!


In all things, I wish you love, light & clarity.


~pbg