Clearing Up The Confusion: A Statement on Sexual Liberation for Women

So, a young lady of 19 posted a question on another forum that I frequent daily. She asked simply this:

"Self-Respecting Women"

What does that even mean?

How does a woman disrespect herself?

This was in response to someone else's statements basically saying that women are selling themselves short and "disrespecting themselves" when they post nude/semi nude pics of themselves on the Internet.

I see a lot of behavior like this both on the Internet and IRL (In Real Life), and I call it "Ho Sh!t".  I bitch and complain a LOT about it. But here was this young girl, asking a genuine and honest question. As a woman and a mother of a girl not much younger than she is, I felt it necessary to answer her and clear up the confusion:





I’m gonna be honest with you. If this has anything to do with young ladies posting provocative pics of themselves on Tumblr or anywhere else on the Internet, I believe it’s the skewed view that a lot of women have of “Sexual Freedom” or “Sexual Liberation”. I don’t only see it in young girls either. I see it in women my age as well and all in between, and it is very sad.


What too many women think is that behaving in an overt sexual manner, promiscuity and the like are indicative of their expressing their sexuality and feeling empowered. This is a falsehood and deception of a very insidious nature. It shows the levels to which a woman feels she has to go to prove herself and it is 100% unnecessary.


Sexual Freedom & liberation as NOTHING to do with “ho shit”. It has nothing to do with showing your body or having sex with someone who doesn’t love you or that you don’t love. Being a woman secure in her sexuality and sensuality has nothing to do with how many nude/semi-nude shots you can post or how much smut talk you can do or how many guys or girls you can grind up on at a party.

Sexual Liberation for women is about CHOICE. It is woman’s right to keep it all to herself if she wants to do so. It’s about having control of your own body and not having to be behave like a slut to be attractive and garner attention. Sexual freedom is being free from the shackles of the beliefs and rules of a perverse and dominating male state of mind. It’s about having the ability to DEFINE YOURSELF and not being held to either of the extremes that society deems acceptable for a woman: prude or rat skeezer.


A self-respecting woman understands that and conducts herself based on what she believes she is worth. I pray for women to recognize and embrace all of themselves and let every gift endowed up them by the Creator be what they integrate into the light they shine for the world to see. Know your worth and act accordingly.


Believe it or not, a lot of men find power, intelligence, strength, knowledge & love of oneself EXTREMELY sexy as well. Try flaunting that and see what happens.



~pbg

Getting To Know Him...On the Internet

Hey PBG,

I have this guy on my Facebook that has been my friend for awhile. I just never spoke to him, but I always thought he was cute. I ended up going out one night for a friend's birthday and saw him in person at a club. I was half drunk but I still realized who he was and kinda was in his face as a I walked past (again being drunk). So like a week later, I sent him a message on Facebook asking him if he was at the club making sure it was him and it was. We shared a few messages had a few laughs (especially about me being in his face) and now we are friends on Twitter. He asked a few times when was the next time I'd be going out and that if he saw me he would make sure to speak but I haven't gone out since that night. He is so handsome and funny from the little conversation I've had with him and I want to get to know him better but I'm not sure if I am his type. I'd like to find out, and maybe even see if he would like to go to dinner or get some drinks sometimes but I just dont know how to go about it. SO HELPPPPPP!

I think it's nice that you've met a friendly guy and are interested in getting to know him better. Meeting & dating from internet connections isn't as taboo as it once was, thanks to all the social networking we do nowadays. But it's not exactly easy to get the most important details you'd like to know through a few posts on Facebook or some tweets on Twitter.

I think you and this guy should spend some time chatting using an Instant Messenger. Just talk and see if you guys have enough chemistry and things in common to even warrant another in-person meet up. You can have a conversation hours long through instant messenger. I've made a lot of good friends just through using Yahoo IM before moving on to GoogleTalk (I love everything Google). I think it's a smart move to test the waters with this guy before committing to a full-fledged date.

Hopefully, you and this nice guy will find each other intriguing enough to want to see each other again (outside of the club, with you being completely) and if that's the case, I say you go right ahead and ask him out, if he doesn't do it first. Women don't necessarily come off as "pushy" by asking a guy out. You're just showing him that you're interested in a very direct way. I tend to think that some men would appreciate having the pressure of having to make the first move taken off of them every once in a while. All he can say is "yes" or "no", and you'll either have the opportunity to have a great night out with a great guy or you can walk away with no more or no less than you started. The only way you'll know is to take a chance, so go for it!


In this and in all things, I wish you love, light & clarity.

~pbg